Aili update

I know i’m waaaaay overdue for a post. It’s much easier to post away from home without all the responsibilities of home. I’ve also been sick and feeling like crud. Raleigh and Aili got it too. Sam  swears that gulping a large Gatorade in a short amount of time when he feels like he’s getting sick knocks it out before it takes him down. Must work because he’s rarely sick. Guess I should give it a shot next time

We had a great Christmas! Aili got her first gift on Christmas Eve. She had no idea what to do with the wrapped box. After watching her sister and cousins open theirs’ she got the hang of it, but still didn’t quite “get it”.

Santa came and brought the girls a trampoline and a few other things. Most she hasn’t touched since she opened them. She would open them and say, “No thank you.” We’ve been in a few stores and she’s never asked for anything. Well, except for food. We went to the grocery store and I could tell her mind was reeling. She ALWAYS wants to eat. It’s just hard now to get her to eat veggies. But we have applied our “if you want dessert, you have to eat your veggies” rule. She doesn’t have to eat a full serving like Raleigh, but she has to try them. She gives me a somewhat dirty look then sticks it in her mouth. Just like Raleigh, she’ll eat anything for dessert. Works out perfectly 🙂 She hardly eats any meat, but we’re getting protein in her with nuts, eggs, and milk daily.

Raleigh and Aili are getting along great. It’s so awesome to see them hug, kiss, and hold hands just because. There hasn’t been any fighting really. Aili has things she “claims”. As long as Raleigh doesn’t take these things away from her, all is well. Really if anyone takes them from her she will cry. Unless we tell her that it belongs to someone else. Then she will relinquish said item. Every day she picks different items to carry around. Obviously this was never aloud at the orphanage. You could never claim things as your own. So I’ve been allowing it. It’s a bit of a pain, especially when she picks a large box and puts multiple heavy items in it then expects me to carry her around a store with it. These things also have to be next to her in the bed when she sleeps. One day we surprised Raleigh and met her at school for lunch. That day it was a large pale/bucket with misc items and a helium balloon. I tried to leave the balloon in the car. Oh boy, huge crocodile tears. Pick your battles, Mama. Balloon? Check

She has come into our home and has fit like a glove, all things considering. It’s very different trying to adjust to having another child in the home. Not a baby that we molded, but a 4 year old that has her own ways and doesn’t speak our language. But I still don’t believe it could be going any better given the situation. I didn’t think I’d be so much in love so fast. I certainly didn’t think she’d be attached to us so quickly. She’s picking up new signs and words every day, making communication easier. Although we have a long way to go. She says “Mama” and “Baba” all day long to get our attention, then doesn’t have the words to communicate with us, so she’ll say the words she does know over and over again. If I know she’s really trying to say something, I get down on her level and ask her to show me and work until I figure it out. But sometimes she’s just babbling and happy to have my attention. I do my best to give it to her every time, since we have almost five years to make up for when she never could get individual attention. But it’s not always easy, admittedly.

I’m not used to staying home. I have always worked. I LOVE my work. Sam would probably tell you I’m addicted to it. I did stay home after Raleigh was born for 8 weeks, but that’s different. This has been a whole new experience! Also, Raleigh has been home from school for break, so I’ve instantly become a stay at home mom of two nonstop little girls. Yeesh not easy! I have always given major props to stay at home moms. Now I realize that nothing I said was enough. I  think it’ll be easier once we’re back on a schedule. It’s been great that this worked out when Raleigh was on break so we could spend more time as a family, but I’m ready for some order. I do better that way. I’m going to start a mommy and me swim class and music class with her this month. That should help.

We’ve been saving for two years for me to be able to stay home for awhile after we brought Aili home. The plan was to stay home until the summer when we’d try to get her in a day care setting to prepare for Pre-K. We thought it would take that long for attachment/bond to be solidified. We certainly prepared for the worst. She bonded to us so quickly. It blew my mind! So plans might change. We’ll see.

Aili has never allowed me to rub her back…until tonight. I always try to comfort her by rubbing her back, but she moves my hand away. I can tell that action is completely foreign to her. I’ve been allowed to rub her hair/head some. I try to sneak in a short back rub here and there, but stop before I know it’s too much. Even when she gets hurt and cries, I pick her up and expect her to put her head on my shoulder so I can comfort her. But she never does. She doesn’t know all the possibilities of a mother’s love…yet. Tonight was big. I gave her one of my short rubs on her back under her shirt. When I stopped, she took off her shirt and asked for more. This made me sooooo happy!

Another interesting thing is she never uses covers. I get another “no thank you” when I try to put them on her. We have the heat up, but she still must be cold. She doesn’t like pjs on either. They didn’t sleep with blankets in the orphanage, or pjs it appears. I know that in most orphanages they sleep in metal cribs, and I’ve seen pics where they don’t have mattresses. Just wood. And cold concrete floors. So sad.

That’s all I’ve got for now. It’s much easier to post pics straight to FB, so I’ll probably do it that way from now on then here on the blog. Until next time…